April 2010
“Plans for the gorgeous weekend: Formals, hot dates, sex with hot dates. Reality:...”
“I think I’m actually in love with Lil Wayne. This is a new low, even for...”
“I just had an epiphany. All I really want in life is to command the U.S.S....”
“I really, really need to shower before I get my yearbook photo taken in 30...”
“It’s the weekend. No classes, no work, no friends. FML”
“I’ve taught myself how to delay an orgasm. It takes me over half an hour...”
“I’m so stressed out over the papers I haven’t written yet that I was...”
“I’m living the real-life Jim Halbert likes Pam but she’s engaged...”
“3 am. Drunk off of my ass from Pformal. Watched the guy I liked hook up with...”
“My boyfriend is hot, smart, from the type of family many people usually assume...”
“Alcohol. FML”
“Wanted to have sex this weekend. Got my period. FML”
“My girlfriend is in love with a poker player. She’s been watching poker...”
“The girl I love doesn’t wanna hang out with me in Europe because she...”
“I was walking back from Lamont tonight and passed by two HUPD officers talking...”
“1. close Facebook. 2. open new tab. 3. open Facebook. FML”
“Instead of going to Pformal, I stayed alone in my room and ate lots of cookies....”
“I’m in Lamont listening to two dumb girls who are butchering Kant in...”
“I’m dating a freshman boy and I’m a sophomore. I don’t dare to...”
“This creepy dude on campus has been acting significantly more creepy towards me...”
“Annenberg was filled with frat, preppy-ass douche bags today drunk off their...”
“After two all-nighters in a row, I finished this damn paper because the prof...”
“I’ve never felt so much pressure to be gay. FML”
“Can you be a lesbian without ever having sex with a girl? I’m so confused....”
“All of you who are dressing really cute, news flash, it’s reading period,...”
“I just got onto the 8 am shuttle wearing a dress so short that I almost deemed...”
“Making up fake FML posts is the most fun I have at Harvard. FML (or is it?)”
“My (male) roommate listens to Rude Boy 69 times a day. FHL and FML”
“Termbill email to seniors: “Hello, this is your termbill. Congrats on...”
“I’ve had so many disappointments this year that minor setbacks like not...”
“One night in Lamont, and I’m already a hopeless stalker. Why can’t...”
“My crush thinks it’s funny to sit near me during midterms and watch me...”
“Yesterday, from 12pm - 8pm, I watched the Goldman Sachs investigation on...”
“I just found out I failed a class this semester. I’m a senior. And all I...”
“Now my entire day is wasted: half on Harvard FML, the other half on...”
“I’m in Cabot Library, trying to do a paper, but can’t focus because...”
“I spend 3/4 of my life searching for men’s approval and the other 1/4...”
“Women are like buses. You wait ages for one, then two turn up at once. FML”
“I am a nice, friendly person, but I don’t know how to show a boy I like...”
“I become incredibly boring around guys I like. FML”
“I am a girl looking for a date for the Eliot Fete. Why is this so freaking...”
“I was on the T and a stranger accosted me. He detailed very precisely what my...”
“I’m coming out to my parents on graduation. I might be giving one of the...”
“I’m quoting Harvard FML in my paper for my sophomore tutorial. FML”
“I’ve conditioned myself to sleep in 3 hour bursts. Now I have insomnia....”
“I leave Harvard three weeks from tomorrow. Because of conflicting schedules, my...”
“I had to leave Lamont tonight because the internet was too slow to watch Glee....”
“My footnotes are longer than the main text. FML”
“I walked around all day today with a cum stain on my polo. FML”
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